Should We Stay or Should We Go: A Novel

Should We Stay or Should We Go: A Novel

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  • Create Date:2021-06-29 11:31:27
  • Update Date:2025-09-06
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  • Author:Lionel Shriver
  • ISBN:1665096950
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Summary

A married couple decides they will take control of their final years by exiting the world together at the age of 80—with unexpected consequences and possibilities in New York Times bestselling author Lionel Shriver’s brilliantly conceived parallel-universe novel of sickness, marriage, old age, and mortality reminiscent of The Post-Birthday World。

“The Cassandra of American letters。”—New York Times

When her father dies, Kay is relieved。 For ten years, she watched helplessly as Alzheimer’s ravaged this once decorous man。 Her husband of twenty-eight years, Cyril, found his brief exposure to her father’s decline intolerable。

Healthy and full of vitality, both Kay and Cyril, now in their early 50s, fear what may lie ahead for them。 One thing is certain: neither wants to die without dignity。 To avert a similar fate, they make a pact: on Kay’s 80th birthday they will commit suicide together。 Cyril, a doctor, acquires the means they will need to exit the world, a bottle of tablets they keep in black box tucked away in the back of the fridge。 Their deal is made in 1991。 They will have thirty more years together。 

But as time passes and their “final” day approaches, doubts begin to arise。 

Lionel Shriver’s highly imaginative and utterly captivating novel unfolds in a series of scenarios that depict various versions of how Kay and Cyril’s unfolding story ends, all with unexpected twists。 As these highly imaginative scenarios build upon one another, it becomes clear that trying to control fate is futile。 With cool logic, Shriver reveals how the idea of taking charge of one’s final years and saving oneself from the indignities of old age is a fallacy。 Contemplating the inescapable end of their lives, Kay eventually discovers that when it comes to the end of life, “real bravery and nobility entails losing everything you love by degrees like everyone else, and dying when you least expect it like everyone else。”   

Brilliant and psychologically astute, Should We Stay or Should We Go is Lionel Shriver at her iconoclastic best—a novel that is fascinating to contemplate and impossible to forget。

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Reviews

LoriB

This book was unusual in that I don’t think I’ve ever read a book on this subject before。 A new storyline! Very interesting concept。

Susan

Shriver has tackled the moral ambiguities of orchestrating our dying as she did with parenting a sociopathic child in " We need to Talk about Kevin"。 The structure is chapters describing different scenarios dependent on whether the couple commits suicide when the younger reaches 80。 The book is not for the faint-hearted, as several endings are horrible, but others are funny and poignant。 The chapter about the care home was exaggerated, but overall there was an authenticity in the book's depressi Shriver has tackled the moral ambiguities of orchestrating our dying as she did with parenting a sociopathic child in " We need to Talk about Kevin"。 The structure is chapters describing different scenarios dependent on whether the couple commits suicide when the younger reaches 80。 The book is not for the faint-hearted, as several endings are horrible, but others are funny and poignant。 The chapter about the care home was exaggerated, but overall there was an authenticity in the book's depressing message。 。。。more

Colleen

Kay and her husband, Cyril, have seen too many elderly patients suffer endlessly as they slowly approach the end of the lives。 While in their 50’s, they decide that quality of life is preferable to quantity, and make a pact to end their lives together once they hit the age of 80。 It seems logical and besides, the year 2020 is so far in the future, it doesn’t seem real。Yet 2020 does arrive, and so does the agreed upon suicide date。 Cyril has never wavered in his belief that this is the way to go, Kay and her husband, Cyril, have seen too many elderly patients suffer endlessly as they slowly approach the end of the lives。 While in their 50’s, they decide that quality of life is preferable to quantity, and make a pact to end their lives together once they hit the age of 80。 It seems logical and besides, the year 2020 is so far in the future, it doesn’t seem real。Yet 2020 does arrive, and so does the agreed upon suicide date。 Cyril has never wavered in his belief that this is the way to go, but as the date approaches Kay begins to have niggling doubts。 Should they stay, or should they go?Each chapter explores different scenarios, according to what happens that fateful night。 What happens if they both abort the mission? Or if only one of them does? There’s even a sci-fi possibility。 All are entertaining (although some chapters are better than others) and Shriver really does pull the reader through situations that make you laugh or are so unbearably sad you want to cry。 There’s a lot of room for anger here too, directed both at Cyril and the “system” in general。 This novel is not what I expected。 It’s described as both hilarious and touching, and it is, but it is also most definitely a much more literary novel than I thought it would be。 Brexit is discussed at length, as is Britain’s health care system, mass immigration and racism。 This is also the first novel I’ve read that directly incorporates the Covid-19 pandemic into the storyline。 I wouldn’t have expected a story about two 80-year olds ending their lives to be “light”, but there’s a lot more meat to the story than expected。 Definitely not a fun beach read!3。5 stars rounded up。 And the cover is perfect! 。。。more

Annie Day

This book is an emotional rollercoaster。 The different scenarios explored by Lionel Shriver provoke a kaleidoscope of reactions: despair, horror, empathy and hilarity in equal measure。 The portrayal of the longstanding relationship between Kay and Cyril is very touching, and the descriptions of their adult children might raise an eyebrow or two。 The structure of the novel will appeal to readers who enjoyed Life After Life by Kate Atkinson, but a word of warning: some of the more negative chapter This book is an emotional rollercoaster。 The different scenarios explored by Lionel Shriver provoke a kaleidoscope of reactions: despair, horror, empathy and hilarity in equal measure。 The portrayal of the longstanding relationship between Kay and Cyril is very touching, and the descriptions of their adult children might raise an eyebrow or two。 The structure of the novel will appeal to readers who enjoyed Life After Life by Kate Atkinson, but a word of warning: some of the more negative chapters are quite harrowing so be careful before buying this book as a gift …Thanks to lovereading。co。uk for a pre-publication copy of this book in return for an independent review。 。。。more

Barbara Bryant

Following the death of her father, who has spent yearsIn a haze of dementia, Kay Wilkinson’s husband Cyril proposes they avoid a similar fate by committing suicide at 80。 Or rather, they will wait until Kay is 80 and Cyril 81。 Already a bit preposterous, the novel goes on to present different fates for the couple, individually and together, chapter after chapter。 Some of the outcomes are bleak, though told in a silly way, and some are so rosy as to be impossible。 It is as if the author is lettin Following the death of her father, who has spent yearsIn a haze of dementia, Kay Wilkinson’s husband Cyril proposes they avoid a similar fate by committing suicide at 80。 Or rather, they will wait until Kay is 80 and Cyril 81。 Already a bit preposterous, the novel goes on to present different fates for the couple, individually and together, chapter after chapter。 Some of the outcomes are bleak, though told in a silly way, and some are so rosy as to be impossible。 It is as if the author is letting herself be indulgent in imaging the many ways in which she might age。 While the book is somewhat amusing with its Britishisms and its tie-ins to real events like Brexit and the pandemic, it becomes more tedious as the chapters pass and we are no closer to the end。 I will say that it unfortunately makes one think of the potential horrors of aging—one simply does not believe in the potential happiness presented here。 。。。more

Stephanie

I quite enjoyed this。 Kay and Cyril are a successful middle class couple in London。 Her dad passes after a long battle with Alzheimer's。 Kay and Cyril make a pact for a double suicide when she turns 80 so that neither they nor their family need suffer their old age。 But。。。Shriver creates 12 different endings to this proposition and sets them against a backdrop of Brexit and Covid 19。 Some seem preposterous, some very sad, and some perfectly reasonable。 A good read。 I quite enjoyed this。 Kay and Cyril are a successful middle class couple in London。 Her dad passes after a long battle with Alzheimer's。 Kay and Cyril make a pact for a double suicide when she turns 80 so that neither they nor their family need suffer their old age。 But。。。Shriver creates 12 different endings to this proposition and sets them against a backdrop of Brexit and Covid 19。 Some seem preposterous, some very sad, and some perfectly reasonable。 A good read。 。。。more

Paul Strebe

I didn't initially like this, but it grew on me in a way I didn't expect and I really enjoyed it at the end (and not because it was done)。 I'm definitely not a fan of science fiction or Ayn Rand-y garbage, so this was a surprise。The negative: First, why is the title a rip off of a Clash song? Seems lazy。 Also, I knew this woman was a Yank, but her narrative was almost over-the-top British English ("whilst" and "dust bin" and that crap) that just irritated me。 It was almost like a parody of how A I didn't initially like this, but it grew on me in a way I didn't expect and I really enjoyed it at the end (and not because it was done)。 I'm definitely not a fan of science fiction or Ayn Rand-y garbage, so this was a surprise。The negative: First, why is the title a rip off of a Clash song? Seems lazy。 Also, I knew this woman was a Yank, but her narrative was almost over-the-top British English ("whilst" and "dust bin" and that crap) that just irritated me。 It was almost like a parody of how Americans think Brits talk。 Also, the first quarter of the book seemed like just her having a long exposition with her husband over details that most couples wouldn't normally discuss -- it seemed silly and contrived。 Why not have one of their kids visit so she can talk to them? Or a friend? Just SOME character other than her husband。 Finally, I hate that she refers to her actual public self three-quarters of the way through。 How needy is this fake stiff-up-lip Yank? But。。。The positive: The scenarios were thought-provoking in most cases, even if a bit depressing。 Her writing is clever and funny in many cases。 I think it would make a fun movie。 。。。more

Shane Plassenthal

Lionel Shriver has an agenda in this thinly veiled comical novel。 While I don't always agree with what Shriver has to say about the issues, I do appreciate her contrarian ability to make her case。 I read an interview with Shriver recently where she told the reporter that fiction is what changes people's minds。 This is something I do agree with and so I gave this book a read。 Shriver's writing is good。 She knows how to turn a phrase and that is what makes this book deserve 3 stars。 Where it lacks Lionel Shriver has an agenda in this thinly veiled comical novel。 While I don't always agree with what Shriver has to say about the issues, I do appreciate her contrarian ability to make her case。 I read an interview with Shriver recently where she told the reporter that fiction is what changes people's minds。 This is something I do agree with and so I gave this book a read。 Shriver's writing is good。 She knows how to turn a phrase and that is what makes this book deserve 3 stars。 Where it lacks is sometimes her criticism of the Covid lockdowns, Brexit, refugees and a host of other politically charged issues sometimes feels forced to the point where its clunky and awkward to read the characters discussing such issues。 There were times when I wanted to call her up and shout, "Okay, I get it!" The parallel universe was a clever way for her to get her themes across and I do think she's on to something with her claim that total altruism is essentially bred from selfishness。 But that is a philosophical quandary for another day。 Overall, I wasn't affronted by anything in this book。 In fact, sometimes I wondered if I agreed with some of what she was saying about the issues when I read what her characters had to say about them。 BUT I do feel the book lacked。。。。something that I just can't quite put my finger on。 Also-the argument in this book seems to be that aging and living are two different things。 And they are。 Make no mistake, Shriver also has the ability to make one ponder about these deep issues。 3/5Lyrical writing but sometimes it turns into a forced overbearing treatise on social issues bogging the whole thing down。 Shriver's other novels are a bit better。 。。。more

Denise Westlake

a few immovable markers in life provided the structure for productivity and purpose。 (16)Such an interesting book! I think everyone would benefit from reading。。。

Jessica

An interesting play with the concepts of alternative histories。 It felt current with the 'splits' often happening in May 2020 without being too focused on what was occurring during that time。 The different interpretations and iterations of Cyril and Kay's possible lives also reminded me a bit of the "Machine of Death" anthologies as they did veer slightly into different 'genres'。 An interesting play with the concepts of alternative histories。 It felt current with the 'splits' often happening in May 2020 without being too focused on what was occurring during that time。 The different interpretations and iterations of Cyril and Kay's possible lives also reminded me a bit of the "Machine of Death" anthologies as they did veer slightly into different 'genres'。 。。。more

Katie

While I still love her writing style, I found the multiple endings made it hard for me to stay engaged。 It wasn't like I was reading to find out what happened, because with each chapter I was "discovering" the ending。 While I still love her writing style, I found the multiple endings made it hard for me to stay engaged。 It wasn't like I was reading to find out what happened, because with each chapter I was "discovering" the ending。 。。。more

Shelley

Repetitive, cruel and silly。 After paragraphs and phrases are revisited dozens of times and Kay and Cyril have died in a baker's dozen of cruel ways, why should I care? The story lacks any kind of empathy for the characters。 Repetitive, cruel and silly。 After paragraphs and phrases are revisited dozens of times and Kay and Cyril have died in a baker's dozen of cruel ways, why should I care? The story lacks any kind of empathy for the characters。 。。。more

Alison

Really loved the idea but god it was so depressing! Couldn’t any of the possible endings be happy?? I guess one was, but that’s it。

Susan Dunker

This book was a whirlwind of emotions, fantasies, realities, ruminations on life and death。 It was wonderful。 I wish to go to the end of my life as wisely and wildly as Cyril and Kay do。

Jami

This was an interesting premise and well done。 I enjoyed each of the individual scenarios, although a few could have been shorter。 It’s a depressing subject, but it makes you think。 There was even one chapter where she inserts her name as part of the story line, and it’s done so seamlessly。 I had to look up some British expressions, so I also learned some new things。 I thought the concept of Kay and Cyril asking if they should leave on their terms as a parallel theme to Brexit was executed well。

Kate O'Shea

God this woman is brilliant。 A couple decide whilst in their 50s to kill themselves when they both reach 80。 However once there they start to reevaluate。 What follows is a collection of alternative beginnings, middles and endings。 It's so beautifully written。 I didn't find it hilarious but it is funny in parts。 What it is, is absolutely brilliant。 I loved The Motion of the Body Through Space。 This is even better。 She uses repetition and recurring themes so easily that you barely know she's doing God this woman is brilliant。 A couple decide whilst in their 50s to kill themselves when they both reach 80。 However once there they start to reevaluate。 What follows is a collection of alternative beginnings, middles and endings。 It's so beautifully written。 I didn't find it hilarious but it is funny in parts。 What it is, is absolutely brilliant。 I loved The Motion of the Body Through Space。 This is even better。 She uses repetition and recurring themes so easily that you barely know she's doing it。 Some dystopian, some almost utopian futures。 Read it please, it's excellent。 。。。more

Mary Strickland

Great bookAnother Shriver thought-provoking book。 She's just an incredible writer who can take a hard look at all sides of an issue。 Great bookAnother Shriver thought-provoking book。 She's just an incredible writer who can take a hard look at all sides of an issue。 。。。more

Wendy Nolan

This book struck me as one part stereotyped characters, one part political agenda grandstanding and one part gratuitous Covid-19 references。

Marcy

Love, Love Lionel Shriver and her take on life, middle age and aging。

Linda

I always enjoy Lionel Shriver’s writing, even if the concepts fall short, and that is the case here。 The novel begins with a middle-class couple who agree to commit suicide when they reach 80。 They have seen others suffer the indignities of old age and want to avoid the same fate。 We are then presented with twelve scenarios of how this might play out, some of which are increasingly farfetched。 I had issues with the book’s implied message: that life is only worth living when you’re young and prod I always enjoy Lionel Shriver’s writing, even if the concepts fall short, and that is the case here。 The novel begins with a middle-class couple who agree to commit suicide when they reach 80。 They have seen others suffer the indignities of old age and want to avoid the same fate。 We are then presented with twelve scenarios of how this might play out, some of which are increasingly farfetched。 I had issues with the book’s implied message: that life is only worth living when you’re young and productively employed。 There is a snooty mocking attitude toward retiree pursuits like travel and hobbies。 There is also a blame-the-victim mentality toward those suffering from the illnesses of old age like dementia。 All in all, I give it a 2。5 stars for good writing, but not something I would recommend。 。。。more

Denise Newton

https://denisenewtonwrites。com/?p=2876There are plenty of darkly funny moments, and it’s hard not to admire the wicked ways in which the author has made national and global preoccupations at the time of writing – Brexit, climate change, ageing populations, the Covid19 pandemic – symbolic of so much that Kay and Cyril are grappling with。Should We Stay or Should We Go is a clever novel that skewers and taunts as much as it poses serious questions。 There are laugh-out-loud moments but a word of war https://denisenewtonwrites。com/?p=2876There are plenty of darkly funny moments, and it’s hard not to admire the wicked ways in which the author has made national and global preoccupations at the time of writing – Brexit, climate change, ageing populations, the Covid19 pandemic – symbolic of so much that Kay and Cyril are grappling with。Should We Stay or Should We Go is a clever novel that skewers and taunts as much as it poses serious questions。 There are laugh-out-loud moments but a word of warning: if you are already by nature or mood pessimistic, worried about your own future and old age, or dealing with themes of death and illness in your own life: be careful。 This novel could either shake you up with a good belly laugh at its audacity, or leave you deeper in the gloom。Should We Stay or Should We Go: A NovelLionel Shriver 。。。more

Caren

Shriver's sharp-witted satire has become my favourite of her novels! I found it hilarious in parts, touching in others, disturbing in many sections, and creatively presented in structure and in thought。 At the age of 55, Cyril and Kay Wilkinson agreed to end their lives when they reached 80, a double suicide to avoid the inevitable deterioration of their health, their loss of independence - "the process of whittling away what [they've] always done"。 Shriver presented 12 different scenarios (univ Shriver's sharp-witted satire has become my favourite of her novels! I found it hilarious in parts, touching in others, disturbing in many sections, and creatively presented in structure and in thought。 At the age of 55, Cyril and Kay Wilkinson agreed to end their lives when they reached 80, a double suicide to avoid the inevitable deterioration of their health, their loss of independence - "the process of whittling away what [they've] always done"。 Shriver presented 12 different scenarios (universes), each portraying an alternative "ending" to their plan, each inventive and each connected in some way to the previous one。 The structure of these "choose your own adventure"-like scenarios and the manner in which Shriver portrayed the possibilities of their decision to follow through with their plan or not, literally left me in awe of her imagination。 What also entertained me was Shriver's perception of our present and future worlds with the complexities that have kept us awake at night worrying。 She brilliantly explored Brexit, the COVID pandemic, mass immigration, health and aged care, economic catastrophe, cryogenic preservation and the impact of each of these on the lives of this professional, happily married couple。 Her exploration of the social, political, economic and psychological implications of the choice to die with dignity and at the time one chooses made for a compelling read! 。。。more

Laura Frisk

Full of wit and humor about a serious subject。 One of my favorite authors has done it again。 Loved this book!

Rebecca

Loved this BookOne of the best books read this year。 Will choose it for my book club。 The author depicts living, aging and dying in all its various forms 。And the different alternatives are so thought provoking。 I all so loved the recurring symbols。 It was a meditation。 And for me ,in the end, life affirming。 Thank you Ms Shriver

Sally

When I typed in this title, another book with the same title came up, one about Brexit。 I had not made that connection, but Shriver does mention Brexit often in her book, as yet another stay/go decision。 Brexit, however, is a much more removed version of the personal stay/go decision being made by an aging couple。 What will the rest of life hold? Is it worth waiting around to see, or would it be better to make a pre-emptive move to end it all?I love Shriver's books because they keep me thinking When I typed in this title, another book with the same title came up, one about Brexit。 I had not made that connection, but Shriver does mention Brexit often in her book, as yet another stay/go decision。 Brexit, however, is a much more removed version of the personal stay/go decision being made by an aging couple。 What will the rest of life hold? Is it worth waiting around to see, or would it be better to make a pre-emptive move to end it all?I love Shriver's books because they keep me thinking long after I've finished them。 She is an astute chronicler of the human condition, and the way she puts things makes me more aware of things that would have otherwise just hovered in the periphery。 This book is set up in an interesting way。 Think "choose your own adventure", only it's "choose your own ending"。 There are a variety of options of how things go--assisted suicide, life in a luxurious care home, life in an awful care home, cryogenics, etc。 It reminded me of a villanelle, where things appear again in a different place and add depth by their reappearance。 For instance, the couple's kiss is described as a felt mallet striking a cymbal, and this phrase occurs at crucial moments in a way that renders it triumphant, bittersweet, or downright depressing。Read it! Think about your own death! And how you'll live up till it happens! 。。。more

Kris Eggert

I loved this book! Clever。 Witty。 Poignant。 I need to read more from this author。

Cheryl

new, but I expect my different libraries to pick it up quicklyHeard about on NPR on a road trip。。。 I know that's how lots of ppl get book rec's but it's the first time for me。 Def。 relevant to me (and husband, and brother, and mom。。。 dad is gone already, fortunately quickly and after he'd accomplished his bucket list。。。)。 new, but I expect my different libraries to pick it up quicklyHeard about on NPR on a road trip。。。 I know that's how lots of ppl get book rec's but it's the first time for me。 Def。 relevant to me (and husband, and brother, and mom。。。 dad is gone already, fortunately quickly and after he'd accomplished his bucket list。。。)。 。。。more

Payel Kundu

Lionel Shriver’s books are often organized around some central topical issue, which often makes them thought provoking。 In her earlier books (notably We Need to Talk about Kevin, The Mandibles, So Much for That, and Big Brother), there’s a strong effort to integrate these issues pleasingly into a beautiful and memorable story。 I started to see hints of a worrying disregard for the narrative and the increase of shrill and naked harping in some of the stories in Property。 With The Motion of the Bo Lionel Shriver’s books are often organized around some central topical issue, which often makes them thought provoking。 In her earlier books (notably We Need to Talk about Kevin, The Mandibles, So Much for That, and Big Brother), there’s a strong effort to integrate these issues pleasingly into a beautiful and memorable story。 I started to see hints of a worrying disregard for the narrative and the increase of shrill and naked harping in some of the stories in Property。 With The Motion of the Body Through Space, we see a novel comprised almost entirely of very artificial and didactic dialogue between characters, who seem to be hand puppets for Shriver’s views, or comically (unintentionally I think) one-dimensional foils。 I respected Shriver so much as a writer that I thought that novel was a reflection of a hard year and an artistic misstep。 I picked this latest book up eagerly hoping to see my old friend Good Writer Lionel Shriver again。 I hated this book so much I think I might finally stop reading Shriver’s books, after being an avid fan for more than 10 years。 This book returns repeatedly to the theme that living a long life isn’t intrinsically valuable。 Wouldn’t it be better to step out gracefully at your peak rather than sully that memory with years of dependency and incompetence? That’s exactly how I’m starting to feel about Shriver’s body of work。 Shriver structures this book as a series of possible alternatives given different circumstances。 Unfortunately, while this could have been an interesting choice, it gives her carte blanche for her recently favored “characters as hand puppets” style, and exonerates her from having to spend effort on character development and narrative building/progression。 I’m not sure if Shriver is trending towards such one-dimensional depictions of issues because she finds it sells well, because she’s lost her critical thinking and communication skills, or if she just thinks readers won’t know any better。 It’s possible she’s trying to be funny, but I feel that’s an overly generous interpretation of most of the book, though some of the dialogue is clearly meant to read as excessively blithe dark humor。 When Cyril and Kay are forcibly checked into a care home, the proprietor is as invariably sadistic as a Captain Planet villain。 It’s like Shriver wants to make sure readers don’t have to exercise any moral thinking。 The proprietor is a baddie, that’s very clear。 Some of the aspects of the book that fell especially flat could have been partially rescued if it was revealed that the alternate realities were just Kay and Cyril speculating about what might be。 Then the evil care home woman and the totally slap dash attempts at futuristic sci fi could be interpreted as droll humor, adding a sort of meta appeal, but they're not presented like that。 They're just presented as alternative timelines。 I understand that Shriver might be shooting for the satire genre, but it isn't smart satire。 It just comes off as scathing and lazy。 In short, I’m very disappointed that I can no longer count myself among Shriver’s fans。 I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone。 。。。more

Alexandra Frosch

So so good! So good that I am going right back to Page 1 and start all over again。

Trudy Nye

Quite a lot to think about here。